As the year comes to an end, the pressure to set New Year’s resolutions begins to build. Everywhere you turn, you’re reminded that it’s time to commit to new goals, adopt healthier habits, and make dramatic changes in your life. While the fresh start of a new year can feel motivating, the reality is that many people abandon their resolutions by February, leaving them feeling defeated and frustrated.
Instead of focusing on fleeting resolutions, there’s a better way to approach self-improvement: habit stacking and working on the story you tell yourself. These strategies allow you to build lasting change without the pressure of unrealistic goals. They focus on small, manageable steps and mindset shifts that lead to sustainable growth and success.
In this blog, we’ll dive into why New Year’s resolutions often fail, and explore why habit stacking and reshaping the narrative you tell yourself can be far more effective ways to create meaningful and lasting change.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail
Before we dive into the power of habit stacking and changing your self-story, let’s take a moment to understand why New Year’s resolutions typically don’t stick.
- Unrealistic Expectations
New Year’s resolutions often involve major changes or lofty goals that are hard to achieve. People may commit to “losing 50 pounds” or “becoming a millionaire” without considering the small, incremental steps needed to reach those targets. Without a clear plan of action, these resolutions can feel overwhelming, leading to burnout and abandonment. - Lack of Specificity
Many resolutions are vague, like “get healthier” or “be more productive.” Without specific, actionable steps, it’s easy to lose focus or motivation. A goal like “get healthier” doesn’t give you the roadmap for what that looks like on a daily basis. - Pressure to Change Too Much
Often, New Year’s resolutions are a list of everything we wish to change about ourselves. While the intention is good, trying to overhaul multiple areas of your life at once can be overwhelming. This can lead to failure before you even get started. - Failure to Address Underlying Mindsets
When we make resolutions, we often focus only on the actions we need to take to change our behaviors. However, we often fail to address the underlying thoughts, beliefs, and patterns that drive those behaviors. Without shifting our internal story about ourselves, lasting change is difficult to achieve.
Instead of setting resolutions that may set you up for failure, try a different approach. One that’s more sustainable and rooted in small, meaningful changes that build momentum over time.
What Is Habit Stacking?
Habit stacking is a strategy that involves attaching a new habit to an existing one. The key idea behind habit stacking is that it’s easier to add a new behavior to something you’re already doing, rather than starting from scratch. This approach makes it more likely that you’ll successfully implement the new habit without feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
For example, let’s say you already have a habit of drinking coffee every morning. Instead of setting a vague goal like “exercise more,” you can stack a new habit—like doing five minutes of stretching or a short workout—immediately after you finish your coffee. By stacking the new habit to an existing one, you create a natural cue that reminds you to follow through.
The beauty of habit stacking is that it focuses on small, incremental changes. Over time, these small habits build on each other, creating a compound effect. This makes it easier to stick with your goals and gradually improve your life, without the pressure of a dramatic, all-or-nothing resolution.
How to Implement Habit Stacking in Your Life
Here’s how to start building new habits by stacking them onto existing ones:
- Identify Your Current Habits
Take a moment to list the habits you already do every day. This could include things like brushing your teeth, having a morning coffee, checking your email, or getting into bed at night. Your existing habits are the foundation on which you can add new behaviors. - Choose a New Habit
Pick a small, simple habit that aligns with your goals. The key is to keep it specific and manageable. For instance, if your goal is to improve your fitness, instead of committing to a full workout session right away, you could add a quick 5-minute stretching routine after your morning coffee. Or, if you want to read more, you could decide to read one page of a book after you finish eating lunch. - Tie the New Habit to the Existing One
The next step is to choose where your new habit will fit in the flow of your day. The goal is to add your new behavior right after an existing habit, so it feels natural and automatic. For example, you could say, “After I finish brushing my teeth, I’ll take 10 deep breaths to calm my mind,” or “After I drink my morning coffee, I’ll write down three things I’m grateful for.” - Track Your Progress
Tracking your new habits can help you stay motivated. Use a habit tracker app, a calendar, or even a simple checklist to mark off each day that you complete your new habit. Tracking gives you visual proof of your progress, which helps reinforce the new behavior. - Celebrate Small Wins
Small, consistent wins are what lead to long-term success. When you complete your new habit, take a moment to celebrate, even if it’s just a quiet “good job” to yourself. Celebrating small successes helps reinforce positive behavior and boosts your motivation.
Working on the Story You Tell Yourself
While habit stacking focuses on building new behaviors, the success of these habits is deeply connected to the story you tell yourself. Your internal narrative—how you view yourself and your potential—shapes the actions you take. If you see yourself as someone who fails at resolutions or struggles with change, you’re more likely to give up when things get tough.
To create lasting change, you need to rewrite your story. This doesn’t mean simply trying to think more positively—it means changing the way you identify yourself, so your actions align with who you believe you are.
Here’s how to work on the story you tell yourself:
- Identify Limiting Beliefs
Take a moment to reflect on the stories you tell yourself about your abilities. Do you believe you’re not capable of change? Do you tell yourself that you’ve never stuck with a goal in the past, so why try again? These limiting beliefs can hold you back from progress. Write them down and examine whether they’re truly serving you. - Challenge Negative Thoughts
When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” and “What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief?” For instance, if you think, “I’ll never stick to this habit,” remind yourself of past successes, no matter how small they were. You’ve made changes before, and you can do it again. - Reframe Your Identity
Instead of focusing on external goals like losing weight or getting a promotion, focus on the type of person you want to become. For example, you might tell yourself, “I am a person who takes care of my body by eating healthy and staying active,” or “I am someone who loves to learn and grows every day.” When you identify with the type of person you want to be, it becomes easier to align your actions with that identity. - Visualize Your Future Self
Spend a few minutes each day visualizing the person you want to become. Imagine how it feels to embody that person—confident, healthy, productive, and fulfilled. Visualization helps make that future self feel more real, which motivates you to take consistent action toward that vision. - Use Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that help reinforce your new identity. For example, if you’re working on becoming more active, you might say, “I am someone who enjoys exercising every day” or “I feel energized and strong when I move my body.” Repeating these affirmations daily can help retrain your brain and solidify your new identity.
The Power of Small, Consistent Changes
Rather than focusing on an all-or-nothing resolution, the key to lasting change lies in small, consistent actions. Habit stacking and shifting your internal story create a powerful combination that leads to steady, sustainable growth.
These incremental changes don’t require dramatic shifts, but over time, they compound. By stacking habits and working on your self-story, you’ll develop a new identity and create lasting, positive change that feels natural and fulfilling.
A New Approach to the New Year
So, as 2025 approaches, skip the traditional New Year’s resolutions. Instead, commit to small, manageable habits that you can stack onto your existing routines. Work on changing the story you tell yourself, so your actions align with the person you want to become.
Remember: change doesn’t have to be hard or overwhelming. By focusing on habit stacking and shifting your mindset, you can make 2025 the year of meaningful, lasting growth.